Handling the Situation
by dramionerox
Summary: Taking advantage of the situation, Draco uses every thing in sight to get revenge on Harry, Ron, and Hermione, whom aren't exactly allowed to speak or move.
1. Detention

**Author's Note :** Yay! A new fic! It's not a one-shot folks! Oh, yes. There's going to be a new one-shot soon! It's going to be Draco/Hermione (not this fic, but the one-shot).

No pairings, but Draco may mention some just to annoy them.

If you like it when Draco, Harry, Ron, and Hermione all fight, then this is a good fic for you guys.

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, then I wouldn't be here writing fan fiction** (this goes out to all chapters)

* * *

"_What_ is going on here?" Harry, Ron, and Draco all stiffened and stopped at what they were doing at the voice of the Gryffindor Head of House. They turned around and met the nasty glare from Professor McGonagall. Her mouth was set to a very thin line and she was _very_ pissed off. 

"Mr. Weasley!" McGonagall barked, making Ron jump at the sound of his name.

"Would you like to tell me what is going on here?" McGonagall said dangerously. Ron looked like he would rather play with a Blast-Ended Skrewt than answer.

"Malfoy started everything, Professor," Ron pointed at Draco, whose mouth dropped to the floor.

"What do you mean I started everything, Weasley? You started it as much as I had!" Draco's temper took over, instead of using his usual coolness to handle situations like these.

"Aha! So you _did_ start it!" Ron pointed at Draco. Draco glared at him and was about to say something when…

"Twenty points from Gryffindor _and _Slytherin." That got Ron and Draco to shut up.

"Detention, I think, would be best for all of you," McGonagall said, "Though I want to see you Potter, Weasley, and Ms. Granger (she sadly glanced at Hermione, who was laying unconscious on the ground, because she didn't want to punish her favorite student) in my office. Mr. Malfoy, I'll let Professor Snape deal with you." Draco's face brightened a little because Snape was going to let him off easily. After all, he is his favorite student.

After getting the note to Snape from McGonagall, he nearly skipped towards the dungeons to receive his "punishment."

* * *

"Draco," Snape said after reading the note, not noticing the smug look on Draco's face. 

"It is okay, Professor. It is entirely Potter, Weasley, and Granger's fault, you see. They sort of came at me when I was---"

"Enough." Draco stopped immediately and looked at his Potions professor in surprise. He never did that to Draco before. Wait until his father hears about this, then Snape would regret that he ever did that.

"But, sir," Draco stuttered, "she took off points!" Snape's eye twitched for a second; he obviously did not like the idea of his house losing points.

He sighed. "Draco,"

"This isn't fair! I thought you were supposed to be on _my_ side. What are you now, some sort of _Gryffindor_?"

"Detention, Mr. Malfoy." Draco glared at Snape, as if it were his entire fault.

"_Detention?_"

"Yes, detention. With Potter, Weasley, and Granger. Since you compared me to some _house_, I thought that it would be suitable to share a detention with them. After all, you did help start the fight."

Fuming at Snape, he glared at him once more before kicking a desk and storming outside the room.

Snape sighed. He hated giving his best student detention, but if he didn't, then he would have to face Dumbledore for it.

* * *

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy. How delighted we are for you to be here," McGonagall said dryly. Draco saw, from the glares from the trio, that they didn't look too delighted to see him. 

"Now, I will be leaving you all here alone for four hours, one for each of you." Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco's mouths all dropped at the same time.

_Four?_ They all thought miserably. Though they sort of brightened at the thought that they were going to be alone; they still had their wands with them.

"And I'm going to be taking all of your wands." Scratch that last thought. McGonagall opened up her hand expectedly. And in one line, they all reluctantly handed their wands in (Draco took the longest to give his up).

"One more thing, no fighting, or else you'll get more than a detention," McGonagall said before she went out the door and locked it, leaving Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco all alone.

After a few minutes of glaring at each other, Hermione got sick of the glaring game and took out her homework. Harry and Ron followed suit, trying not to get in another fight with Draco.

"So, Granger, what's it like being the only girl in the 'Golden trio'?" Draco asked Hermione, who was sitting next to him. Since they were going to be alone for four hours, Draco thought of taking the advantage of the situation; especially when McGonagall is their Head.

Hermione glared at him, while Draco smirked back. More to his delight, Harry and Ron were already fuming at it's only been five minutes!

"Don't be embarrassed, Granger. Everyone knows about the Gryffindor threesome."

"Malfoy, shut up!" Hermione glared, and out of no where, a small timer setting at five minutes was on the desk right in front of her. Glaring once more at Draco, she went back to her homework, taking out all of her anger on the quill.

"Potter, what is this?" Draco asked Harry. Not really wanting to answer him, he did so without a single thought anyway.

"If we say---" this time, a timer in front of Harry appeared and set itself to five minutes. Harry's mouth opened and closed without saying anything. Harry realized that he must've looked stupid, so he closed his mouth and went back to his homework. His quill, like Hermione's, was working hard and fast in frustration.

_So they can't say any more than three words every five minutes. Draco, I think that this is going to be an interesting detention._ Draco thought. There was an evil glint in his eye as he thought of all of the possibilities. He thought that he should start with Hermione, since she was right next to him.

"_Hermione_," Draco said in an annoying sing-song voice, "how are you today? Ah, yes! How could I have forgotten? Today is Mudbloods Shut up Day!" Hermione stiffened, but continued doing her homework as if nothing had happened.

"Or maybe it's Confess Your Undying Love for Snape Day…or I'd Love To See Uranus Day (Harry and Ron tried not to laugh at that)…or maybe it's just Get In Detention With Draco Malfoy and Try Not to Stare at Him Too Much So That I Won't Be Obvious Day?" Draco said with a smirk. Indeed, Hermione _was_ staring at him, but glaring and looking at him in disgust isn't exactly staring…but Draco didn't care.

"_Oh, Granger_," Draco said while moaning and groaning, his knees on the floor and his head on her lap, "Stop, stop, I can't take it. You are _too, oh, don't stop, please don't stop_."

Smirking, Draco quickly went back to his seat and scooted as far away as possible, not wanting to be slapped. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all tried to stand up to hit him, but they couldn't for some odd reason.

_Ha! Their Longbottoms are glued to the chairs, which are glued to the floor!_ Draco thought happily.

"Granger, I know that you just want to come to me and shag me senseless, but you're not my type. I mean…Mudblood," Draco counted off with his fingers, "Loser, ugly, Gryffindor, annoying, let's not forget Mudblood…"

"Malfoy, shut up," Hermione said through gritted teeth, her cheeks were reddening in anger. The timer went back to five minutes.

"Well, since you can't have me, there are many other people in this school!" Draco said happily.

"Let's see there's Potter," Draco began counting on his fingers again, "Weasley (the trio gagged and reddened), the other Weasley, the other Weasley, Weaslette, Snape, Filch, Longbottom, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, the squid, Hagrid…"

"Why don't you---" Ron began, but nothing came out of his mouth the moment the timer began.

"Weasel, Weasel, Weasel," Draco walked towards Ron and pointed his finger at him as if he were a little boy, and now Draco was speaking as if he was his mother in a cooing voice, "You know that saying _bad words_ in simply not allowed, little Ronnikins! But you don't know any better because you are a stupid, lousy, good-for-nothing," Draco leaned in and whispered in his ear, "side-kick."

Draco went back to his seat, and smirked at all of them. Ron looked as if he wanted to throw the book and everything else on him.

"I hate you," they all said at once, making their timers set to five minutes again.

"That's why you love me," Draco said; his hand on his heart and he looked as if he was about to cry. Now they all looked like they wanted to throw heavy objects at him.

Smirking widely, he started humming horribly while they resumed doing their homework. If possibly, he smirked even wider every time they flinched when he hit a high note.

It's only been about twenty minutes, but the fun was just starting.

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**Author's Note :** Hmmm...I feel writer's block coming soon...so if you have any suggestions, please **REVIEW**!

If some of you still don't get it, there's a timer which only allows Harry, Ron, and Hermione to say three words every five minutes. McGonagall is more strict, so I think that this is a fair punishment. And why are they doing something as simple as doing homework and staying in a room for four hours? I don't know. They should get something like scrub the toilets of listen to Myrtle sing, but they get the punishment of being in each other's presense.


	2. Poke

**Author's Note :** OMG! I just love writing this!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

If it doesn't sound funny, it's actually funny if you were in the situation.

_

* * *

Finally…_ the trio simultaneously thought.

Five minutes have gone by and Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all peacefully doing their homework. Fully consumed in their work (well, mostly Hermione), they subconsciously wondered why Draco wasn't bothering them.

"AHHHHHH!" Draco screamed behind Ron, who was in the middle. This loud scream made them all jump up and scream loudly in surprise. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all started yelling, but no sound came out of their mouths. Draco guessed that their screaming counted as one long word which must've equaled to three words to the timer…or maybe the timer just wanted them to shut up…Well, one of the two.

Draco started rolling on the floor as started to laugh silently; he was laughing so hard that no sound came out of his mouth, he was crying, and his stomach hurt so badly.

Yep, it was _that_ funny seeing the looks in their faces.

"Merlin, you should have seen the looks on your faces!" Draco gasped out between laughs. Once he managed to calm down a bit, he look at the trio and found that they were all glaring dangerously at him.

Draco started laughing (loudly this time) again, finding their murderous looks simply hilarious for some reason.

Once he managed to properly breathe again, Draco found himself thinking of other ideas on how to bug them. Walking around the room, Draco only found two quills, a few pieces of parchment, an empty chest, a few candy wrappers, and other junk.

Draco found himself at the corner of the room and he found, what it looks to be, a bunch of broken sticks.

Draco look scandalized.

It was a broom! It was broken into several pieces, making it perfect for firewood. Though Draco only liked the best and most expensive brooms, it was still a broom and no broom should be treated that way. You might think he's crazy, but that's just Draco Malfoy.

Suddenly, an idea struck him.

Draco went over to his chair and dragged it towards the middle of the room, placing a good distance between the trio and him.

Draco held up the stick (which was smooth on the sides and a tad sharp at the point) and started poking Harry.

"Poke. Poke. Poke," Draco said for every poke he poked. Harry looked up in irritation, but he decided to not let Draco bother him.

Draco didn't care whether or not it was affecting Harry: he was deeply amused.

Draco started poking Harry's scar (he stopped saying "poke" though).

_I wonder how long it would take before he snaps._ Draco thought.

_1…2…3…4…5…_ Draco counted in his head.

By sixteen pokes, Harry looked up and made a grab for the stick. Draco withdrew it just in time just before the Boy-Who-is-Annoyed took it and broke it into a bunch of twigs. Harry made a move to stand up, but he was quickly pushed back down due to the fact that he was literally stuck to his chair. Harry dug his head in his arms, not wanting Draco to poke his scar anymore. Unaware of what he was doing, Harry fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione were both oblivious to what Draco he was doing; trying their best to ignore him.

Smirking, Draco decided to move onto his next victim…or victims.

Draco moved the stick and began "stroking" Hermione's hair with it. Just his luck, Ron put his hand up to ask her a question. Hermione looked at Ron (Draco put the stick upright so that she wouldn't see it) and slapped his hand away. Thinking of her words carefully, she said, "Stop." Hermione sighed and went back to her almost complete essay.

Draco laughed quietly (so that they wouldn't know it was him that did it) as Ron's mouth opened and closed like a fish. He obviously had no idea what was going on, which made Draco laugh even harder.

Draco moved the stick towards Hermione again, but this time he ran the smooth side against her bare arm. Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath (Draco, once again, put the stick upright). She slowly turned to her red-haired friend (whose left hand was hanging off of the chair) and flicked him in the ear. Yelping, Ron turned towards Hermione and said, "Hey! What was---?"

The timer was set to five minutes, which made Ron look completely stupid.

"_Stop_," Hermione said, clearly meaning it. Ron looked at her as if she had gone mad.

Draco laughed silently again. His shoulders were shaking with laughter uncontrollably.

Draco's shoulder-shaking caught Ron's eye and he finally realized why Hermione was getting mad at him. Ron glared heatedly at Draco, who was looking at Hermione.

Hermione turned around to get something in her backpack. Draco saw this opportunity to use the stick one last time. There was ink lying right next to her completed essay. Draco moved the stick right next to Hermione's ink bottle and knocked it. Ron was about to grab the ink bottle before Draco knocked it, but he was too late. Black ink was spread all over Hermione's completed essay. Hermione turned back around just to see her essay spilled with black ink and with the ink bottle in Ron's hands. Draco laughed as he saw her mouth open and close with wide eyes in disbelief. Shaking with rage, she looked at Ron and pointed at him.

"_Ronald_---" She began and started to say some things, but couldn't because she just said her third word, setting the timer back.

"But Malfoy he---" Ron pointed at Draco, but stopped talking since the timer set back to five minutes. Sighing heavily and mouthing curses, he closed his eyes and awaited his deserved punishment.

Draco laughed out loud (he put the stick back where he got it from) once he saw Hermione give Ron his well deserved (he didn't deserve it, but it was damn hilarious) slap.

Harry woke up from his sleep once he heard the slap.

"What happened? Did---" Harry began before started mouthing words.

They all simultaneously turned towards Draco, who was laughing loudly and gasping for air. Harry was confused, Ron was mad, and Hermione looked at Draco as if he were insane.

Getting back to their homework (while Hermione tried to rewrite her essay from memory, since she didn't have her wand to remove the ink), Draco's laughs subsided and he was, once again, bored.

Rolling them up into balls, Draco threw the candy wrappers at the trio while thinking of what he should do next.

* * *

**Author's Note :** Okay, there's one important thing in this whole chapter because it will be giving Draco the...uhm..."supplies," I guess you can call it that LOL

WannaBArtist - I'll use it! Haha that sounds brilliant. But, as you can see, not in this chapter, but I'll put it in the next chapter.

Reviews make me happy. Flames do not.


	3. Music to My Ears

**Author's Note :** You know what? Screw reviews. I don't care if anyone reviews anymore because I end up updating more and more because I just have _sooo_ much fun writing it. I would love it if you review, because one review will make me want to update anyway.

Oh yeah, there will be some mild language and other stuff not suitable for little kiddies towards the end.

* * *

How to Keep Yourself Entertained When You Are Bored Out of Your Mind, But Luckily Having a Bunch of Stupid Gryffindors Who Are Incapable of Talking or Beating You to a Bloody Pulp In Front Of You: 

Look around for useful items; it might just come in handy.

Draco walked around, trying to get the blood flowing through his legs. He walked towards chest that he saw earlier. It was an old brown wooden chest that looked like it hasn't been used for years. Brushing the dust off the chest, he grimaced as dust flew everywhere and some were on his fingers. Making sure that the chest was clean enough to put his bum on, he sat down and sighed.

Being bored was so…well, boring.

Draco let out a low whistle, and sighed. He slouched and started knocking his knuckles against the sides of the wooden chest, making a hollow _knock, knock _sound. Draco smirked, liking the thumping sound because it sounded like the (wizard) drums that the Weird Sisters used to play.

Draco was knocking his knuckles against the sides of the chest, making the beat to one of the Weird Sisters' songs. He bobbed his head to the tune and slightly closed his eyes, clearly enjoying himself. At the same time (while still bobbing his head), Draco shook his head from side to side, making his body move from side to side.

"_Malfoy_," someone said. Draco stopped knocking his knuckles and looked at whoever spoke. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all glaring at him (they seemed to be doing that a lot). Draco put his most innocent (though you can barely call Draco Malfoy innocent) face on. He looked innocently at the Golden trio he just loved to bug so much.

"---it is," Hermione stopped as the timer started.

"----getting annoying and," Ron stopped as his timer started too.

"---we have homework," Harry ended. Draco thought that they were either spending too much time together, wrote this all down so that they could cleverly say one complete sentence without any grammar mistakes, or they got too much sun.

"Okay," Draco replied and managed a small smile. Blinking confusedly, the trio shook their heads and went back to their homework muttering inaudible (literally) words under their breath.

If it (in this case, the stupid Gryffindors) said anywhere along the lines of "It is getting annoying and we're busy," then do whatever you were doing before.

_Knock._ Five seconds.

_Knock_. Draco knocked louder.

_Knock. Knock._ Draco started to add more and more knocks, making the beats louder and quicker. He then started shaking his head in a rock star way (especially like the guys who have long hair). He was humming horribly now (he did that on purpose though because he really does have a nice singing voice) and the trio winced every time he made a very bad note.

Finishing off with a loud and quick knock, he yelled "WOO! Thank you, thank you everybody! Oh, you're too kind! Please!" Draco put his hand over his heart and started waving to the "wild crowd" and blowing kisses.

Looking at the trio, he saw that they didn't know whether to laugh, roll their eyes, or hit him. Draco almost wanted to laugh at them because of the funny expressions on their faces.

When it has a funny expression on its face (like anger, annoyance, jealousy, laughter---don't be discouraged, that's usually a good sign…for you, at least), act innocent.

"What?" Draco asked innocently. He pouted a little, making them huff and get back to their homework.

When it doesn't do anything back to you, go back to number one or reuse whatever you were using.

_Bloody hell…there's nothing to do._ Draco thought. He mentally laughed when he thought what would happen if he had his voodoo mannequins (he would not call it dolls---not even for 100 galleons…maybe because he is already stinking rich) and played with Harry, Ron, and Hermione's lives.

Draco knocked again on the chest, but instead of a hollow knock, Draco heard a dull knock. Confused, Draco strained his ears and knocked on the supposedly empty chest again. There it was: a dull knock. Draco moved away from the chest and bent down towards the lock. Pulling the chest up, he found a box. He was sure that it wasn't in there before in the previous chapter.

Draco looked behind him to make sure that no one was watching him.

Nope. They were consumed in their work (Hermione on her home_work_, while Harry and Ron were _work_ing on drawing slash pictures involving Snape and Draco---which aren't to be described, much to your disappointment).

Draco took out the box, which was decorated in jester colors: bright blue, red, green, purple, and yellow. By the box was…Draco gasped.

When you see something you like, get it. _Use_ it.

Draco took the things inside the chest and set them on a small table. Draco lifted the table and placed it in front of the chair where Draco poked them. Setting out the "supplies," Draco cleared his throat, trying to get their attention. Fortunately, they looked up at him and frowned.

Draco didn't know how those things got in there. All that he knew was that he was thinking of one thing, and _Poof!_ There it was in the chest. He concluded that it was a magical (everyone rolls their eyes as they read this) chest like from Aladdin (who was actually a Squib and the Genie was really a ghost who ended up swallowing his wand. Why is the Genie blue? Maybe he was stuck inside a freaking lamp instead of the new X Box 360---not that he's complaining). It's like rubbing the lamp, except that he was rubbing the chest with his bum because he was moving from side to side.

It was weird.

After staring at the trio for five seconds, Draco went behind the box and crouched down.

"Hello. My name is Harry Potter, but you can call me the Amazing Scarhead!" Draco took out puppet!Harry and started moving him up and down. Truthfully, it looked like puppet!Harry was humping the air, but we wouldn't go into that right now.

"My name is Ron Weasley, but you can call me the Stupid Hothead!" Draco took out puppet!Ron and started moving him up and down as well, looking as if they were talking. Draco deepened his voice a little, to make Ron seem different from Harry.

"And I'm Hermione Granger, but I'm known as the Obnoxious Lunatic Extra!" Draco took out puppet!Hermione out this time and transferred puppet!Ron to the hand where puppet!Harry was. Draco used a squeaky girly voice for Hermione. The real Harry, Ron, and Hermione all had their mouths opened and they really looked like they wanted to hit Draco.

(Instead of saying puppet!Harry, I'm just going to put P. Harry instead so that it would be less confusing and easier to read. This goes out for Ron and Hermione too.)

"And we are known as, the Assholes!" P. Harry said.

"And I must say, I really do have a nice ass," P. Hermione commented herself. Hermione looked scandalized and turned red.

"I know you do, Hermione. Not that I've been staring or anything!" P. Ron said. Ron looked as if he wanted to very much throttle Draco right about now.

"_Oh, Ronald_!" P. Hermione made a un-Hermioneish giggle.

"Stop checking her out, Ron! You were supposed to check _my_ ass out remember?" P. Harry pointed out.

"Oh, sorry," P. Ron said sheepishly. "You have a nice ass, Harry."

"You are such a pervert, Ron! I am _never_ talking to you _ever again_!" P. Harry slapped P. Ron and humped off stage. P. Ron's shoulders sagged and he sighed.

"Hermione, what do I do? Harry told me to check out his ass and now he's mad at me! Maybe he's having that time of month, you know?" P. Ron said.

"Wait, Harry's had a sex change and he never even _bothered_ to tell me?" Hermione said irritably. "The _nerve_ of you boys…uhm…guys…uhhh…Ugh! I'm going to go and shag Draco right now! See you," P. Hermione huffed and went right off of the stage as well, leaving P. Ron on stage by himself.

"Is _everyone_ having their time of months except me?" P. Ron huffed like Hermione and stalked off stage.

"What happens next?" Draco asked in a cheesy announcer voice, "Did Harry _really_ have a sex change? Did Hermione _really_ shag Draco? We shall know…after the break."

* * *

**Author's Note :** The DHr part was for** SaTiNk06** and** WannaBArtist **came up with the puppets idea.

Here's something completely pointless and if you don't really care what I have to say, you don't have to read this. Some of the things that Draco is doing to Harry, Ron, and Hermione are either: done to me (replace the candy wrappers with erasers, wet tissues, crayons and pencils---it get _sooo_ crazy when the teacher gets out of the classroom. So basically everyone in the room throws random stuff at everyone. Since I'm a girl, we girls are usually the main targets of the guys.), I've done to other people, just popped up randomly in my head, or someone suggested it (I will give credit at the end of every chapter though).

Please review if you want another chapter!


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